Friday, August 17, 2007

We're not dead: megapost



Guys, thanks for being patient. I started a new job as an executive recruiter and have spent a lot of time going in early and staying late trying to learn the business. Those who know me probably know that I can't stand not to have a reasonable depth of knowledge for things and accordingly I always work my ass off for months trying to learn everything there is to know about a job. So, I think I'll need to spend some weekend nights blogging, because I have a whole page or two of blog topics (including "fallacies", "circumcision", "sam harris pt. 3", "Chomsky", "Liberalism vs. Anarchism vs. Patton vs. Achohol", "federer", and "On nakedness, sex, vaginas and other keywords that make a blog post immediately fascinating even though everyone might like to pretend otherwise")

Without further ado, let's pretend you forgot about this blog for the last month and are catching up on everything you've missed:

The creepiest Myspace page of all time, hands down, noone else even comes close. Kajina Ray This is a page dedicated to a miscarried baby discussing heaven and "loving their mommy and daddy." Yes it's true that despite lines that should be sad like "I'm dancing and playing with the angels in heaven" it winds up 100% grade a fucking creepy. And that's because there are fucking pictures of the miscarried fetus dressed up in baby clothes in the "pics" section. You have been warned but holy shit.




From a list of things that high-level executives, salesmen and bosses around the world say that are (the things they say) philosophically unsound, compiled by me:

"Perception is reality." This is extremely common and is just absolute drivel. I first year philosophy student should be able to decimate this canard, so why do supposedly intelligent people use it? I think it's appealingly geared toward business-style nihilism with a marketing bent, or something. You know "if we can make you think it then it's true." But it's just nonsense- put a pencil into the water and have a look:



Is it actually bent simply because you perceive it as bent? Okay, then please shut the fuck up.

From a list of things that high-level executives, salesmen and bosses around the world say that are (the things they say) philosophically sound, compiled by me:

"It is what it is." This is a highly defensible statement, known as a tautology or truism. David Hume called these "Analytic A Priori Truths" which is to say things that could never not be true, and don't need to be verified by experiment, experience, etc. I actually like using this, as a sort of less pretentious "c'est la vie" that says "well what are can you do? (nothing.)"

Words/phrases that don't mean what you think they mean, including one I just used incorrectly above (only so I could educate you.)
1. Decimate: means to kill or remove every tenth thing. Does not mean to "utterly destroy" as is commonly thought and said.
2. Penultimate: means "second to last" not just a fancier word for "ultimate."
3. Irregardless: No, this is not a fucking word. DO NOT use it. If other people do, feel free to laugh derisively.
4. "As best as you can." It chills my bones when people say that, though it's somewhat rare. Obviously the correct form is "as best you can."
5. "I could care less" This is an almost meaningless thing to say: "I care about this thing to some degree." (rough translation. PS I'm guilty of this one at times, gulp.)



A homemade youtube video for Daft Punk's "Harder Better Faster Stronger" that is amazing. Leah who does not like Daft Punk loved this, and based on that I would simply recommend that everyone watch this. The fact that it's almost retardedly uneventful for the first minute makes the top-notch last 3 minutes THAT MUCH awesomer. (sorry for the dumb/offensive slang in this post.)


Zach Galifianakis being Zach Galiafinakis on Kanye's West's new video for "Can't tell me nuthin'" This is an official video (you can find a high quality version on Kanye's site) which makes me impressed with Mr. West:


You'll almost be disappointed with yourself for finding this video so goddamn funny, but for some reason it is. "Yeah har har har yellow ledbetter is hard to understand, har har", and yet it's got a certain je ne sais quoi that makes it both appealing and funny. This song still rules by the way- proving the theory I'll later develop in a blog post that the mark of a great band at the top it's game is a great B-side. Pearl Jam- Yellow Ledbetter.


If wrestling was still like this I would watch it for sure. This is a fued between the big boss- WAIT! Don't stop reading! This passed the Leah test too and it's incredible how over the top it is! One guy "The Big Boss Man" makes fun of the other guy's dad dying (imitating him whining "my daddy, my daddy!") so the other guy stands in the middle of the wrestling ring and says (I shit you not) "How would you feel if a family heirloom; a watch from your grandfather was taken from you and destroyed?" As he smashes a gold watch over an anvil (apparently taken from a road runner cartoon, the only place in which anvils have ever existed.) But here's the thing: that happens about 20 seconds when they're just getting started. You haven't seen the attempted assassinations, the grave theft, the bullhorn-featuring funeral interruption (with poetry) etc. In fact, they don't even show you the wrestling match in this clip, because who the hell cares?


Wikipedia is making me sad. It's so obvious that this would've happened that I'm shocked I never considered it, but the site is basically over-run with corporate spin control. I love this site, but it's hard to see how they can control this while staying true to the truly inspiring wikipedia mission. To explain: when the GAP wants to paint over their nasty sweatshop history, they can hire people to effectively sabotage the wiki page by continue to delete and remove and move and alter the GAP page, defending the decision on the Talk pages and so on. Given how great a benefit that is to GAP, and how they're only up against a few volunteers who don't have time to argue everything one can see how the truth can be twisted, shaped, and manipulated according to those how have an interest and the money to try and affect things. What happened is, someone has used a directory of IP addresses and cross-checked them against edits in the wikipedia pages and found some scary and serious patterns of malfeasance. This project is just getting started but is already way-beyond disturbing. The wikipedia staff is implicated in some of it too... It's up at Wired (though to wikipedia's credit, it's nice that they are transparent enough for a project like this to be possible.) Nevertheless, Matt=Sad.


Thanks for reading, and please never give up on us. I promise that we have much, much more to say.

3 comments:

John said...

I don't have a good excuse for not posting.. been too busy being lazy.

Great videos Matt... love the Daft Punk Video!

Erin said...

I am so glad I wandered away from working to become enthralled with your latest posts and hilarious videos. Now that all my office mates think I'm nuts for laughing hysterically to myself, I'll get back to work.

mqzoeller said...

Good to see you guys again. I'm officially sending you one potato wave.