Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The Best of Craigslist

Did everyone know that there was a Best of Craigslist site? I sure didn't.

Some good, interesting stuff on there including cancer rants, sorry you caught me making out with a dude on our date posts, ass-kicking machines and more.

Here's the text of my two favorite posts (neither of which I actually found- thanks sama and fox) right of the bat:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.
Now the other one:

You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza
Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd

I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone. Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn.

When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry. You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.

Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza. You asked me what that something else was.

We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.” When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.

It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.

Similar to the best of craigslist, there's a wikipedia page on unusual wikipedia articles that is well worth your time.

A few amazing music maps, including a list of top artists sorted by state and country worldwide. and a map of the US that has songs playing right now on radio stations popping up like fireworks. That last one is truly, truly awesome.

An absolutely surreal picture of Bush visiting a burned group of veterans and trying to smile while he offers one of them what's honestly about the coolest t-shirt I've ever seen. It's here, but be advised- it's pretty brutal

Here's a collection of amazing drinking stories (only 5, and they're historically awesome) and the first one SECOND one, if you read through it, is clearly the greatest drinking story ever.

This yahoo uk collection of old people's sayings made me smile. (It's not G-rated BS either.)

That bear photo is from an awesome story that doesn't end as badly as you might think.

In other news, I'm preparing for a full-on youtube post soon with some great stuff so keep a lookout.

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