Nice Wand

This story is making the rounds through the entire corporate community. Maybe his "family emergency" in New York was an emergency drunken fairy family reunion.

Finding Downloadable content in a post-oink World

Centralized hub sites like waffles.fm and what.cd are taking off but securing an invite is pretty tough. In the meantime I highly recommend utilizing the site shareminer in order to find and obtain albums (I advise that you only download albums that you've paid for and want digital copies of.) Shareminer basically uses all of these google tools that some of us have been utilizing to find online content. The bottom line is that there are these file hosting sites like Rapidshare that allow free uploads and downloads of fairly large files. Blogs whose contributors have uploaded albums to these sites are indexed via google and some have realized that searching them is a plausible way to obtain digital versions of albums.

To demonstrate I'd like to provide you with a somewhat new Noam Chomsky interview from the NPR "on point" series. It's brief but he manages to cover Sept. 11th, Hugo Chavez, Iran, The Democratic Party, Bill Clinton and more. It's hilarious to listen to that poor interviewer try to ask the same tired questions (How did you feel about Fox news' attack on Bill Clinton?) and wind up with typically unaffected Chomsky answers. One reason I imagine he's so rarely interviewed on major outlets is that he's developed this amazing ability to take a lame innocuous restrictive question and start talking about substantive things. Do a shareminer blog search for chomsky npr on point and this site should be pulled up (I can't check it because I haven't posted yet.)

Secondly, here's a way you could digitally backup your copy of Radiohead's new In Rainbows B-side collections (which you bought, right?) If that link doesn't work go to shareminer and search ' radiohead rainbows.' (not in quotes.)

Speaking of b-sides, here are the B-side videos (videos that didn't quite make the cut) from my forthcoming youtube post:

A cute young girl who's learned to say "whatever" with tons of attitude:



Some Jersey guys who are ready to party SO HARD (stay for the final quote: "I can't wait to watch this on youtube")



Joe Pesci rapping:



A cool dove commercial chronicling the images that young girls are exposed to:



A classic Stiller appearance on Extras (thanks zee.) Skip the first minute until the Stiller speaks and then you can stop watching if you like. It rules:



A stop motion beatbox video that's pretty alright:


Finally, Erin pointed me to an article by an utter moron which makes the case that Poor people have more babies because of social welfare programs. His solution? Cut social welfare programs of course! What makes it so funny is that even though the guy is making the case that "If there were no social welfare, richer families would logically be larger families, since they could support more children." He says in the very next sentence, "In fact all through recorded human history and continuing to the present day poorer families tend to be larger."

I don't throw around things like "Biggest idiot" too often but this has to set some sort of record. He is, by logical extension, claiming that "through all of recorded human history, social welfare programs have existed." (Otherwise he would by undermining his own point by positing a deeper underlying factor that would cause poorer families to have more kids.) This is silly enough, but given the way he defines the problem he should understand that he's basically advocating child-reduction via starvation. See ya next time.

The continuing saga of Business Sayings

"You attract more flies with honey than you do with vinegar"

yes you do and who the fuck wants flies?

"Touch bases with you"

I hear this ALL THE TIME and it sounds dirty. Obviously the correct form is just "touch base."

Radiohead offers a rejoinder...

... in the debate over whether 2007 is the greatest or the worst year for music. And please, let's not have any fuddy-duddies*** out there suggesting that it could be somewhere in between best or worst. I mean, after all if you've watched enough of the smartest man in the world you'd know that head size=intelligence because caterpillars have smaller heads than cats, that if we make him our dictator he will solve our problems, that he has "an above-average vocabulary" and that he is "closer to absolute truth than any man has been before [him]." You'd also learn about binary logic: "1 or zero, yes or no- Binary Logic is something you depend on." Watch the video (linked above) because he says it like a spokesperson for some local business council ("our firefighters are people you depend on.") even though he's basically ripping-off Apocalypse Now (read the 9th one down.)

Based on 4 listens, this might be my fave song of the year and it's not even on their album. Rather it's from the collection of B-sides Radiohead offered with their discbox set. Without further ado, Radiohead- 4 minute Warning.




*** Yeah, i said it.

3G iPhone in 2008

The Wall Street Journal reported today that Apple will release a 3G capable iPhone sometime next year. The story did not specify a release date or even hint at what quarter the phone may come out.

This announcement by AT&T Chief executive Randall Stephenson probably didn't surprise anybody. It has been rumored since the announcement of the original 2G iPhone that a 3G iPhone would come along within a year. While obviously the 3G iPhone would address a major shortcoming of the iPhone, the quality of AT&T's 3G network may continue to overshadow the technology of the iPhone itself.




Google recently released their beta version of "My Location" which allows google maps to map your location without using GPS. This seems like a likely fix for iPhone users as the iPhone lacks GPS capability. What I am curious to see is whether Apple will consider this space and battery saving alternative in lieu of adding GPS to their 2nd Generation iPhone. I'm hoping they add GPS as it does not rely on cell reception to work effectively.

I still love my iPhone as much as I did when I reported on it back in June. It truly is a revolutionary product and I can't wait to see what Apple has in store for the iPhone next year. A gchat widget would be most excellent!

The Best of Craigslist

Did everyone know that there was a Best of Craigslist site? I sure didn't.

Some good, interesting stuff on there including cancer rants, sorry you caught me making out with a dude on our date posts, ass-kicking machines and more.


Here's the text of my two favorite posts (neither of which I actually found- thanks sama and fox) right of the bat:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Now the other one:

You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza
Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd

I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone. Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn.

When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry. You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.

Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza. You asked me what that something else was.

We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.” When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.

It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.

Similar to the best of craigslist, there's a wikipedia page on unusual wikipedia articles that is well worth your time.

Errata:
A few amazing music maps, including a list of top artists sorted by state and country worldwide. and a map of the US that has songs playing right now on radio stations popping up like fireworks. That last one is truly, truly awesome.

An absolutely surreal picture of Bush visiting a burned group of veterans and trying to smile while he offers one of them what's honestly about the coolest t-shirt I've ever seen. It's here, but be advised- it's pretty brutal

Here's a collection of amazing drinking stories (only 5, and they're historically awesome) and the first one SECOND one, if you read through it, is clearly the greatest drinking story ever.

This yahoo uk collection of old people's sayings made me smile. (It's not G-rated BS either.)

That bear photo is from an awesome story that doesn't end as badly as you might think.

In other news, I'm preparing for a full-on youtube post soon with some great stuff so keep a lookout.

Seinfeld

When I meet new people who are cool, there's a conversation that inevitably happens. I see it coming a mile away, but there's really nothing I can do. Cool people like the Seinfeld show, and in conversation cool people will often reference the Seinfeld show and simply assume that you, as a potential cool person, like said show. What I have to uncomfortably explain, then, is that I in fact never really got into Seinfeld and- though I love Curb your Enthusiasm- going back and watching, I don't seem to really enjoy the show very much.

What I've figured out though is that I have a very Seinfeld-esque reason for not liking Seinfeld, and for some reason that feels appropriate. Basically, I hate the god-damn slap-bass that plays in between every. single. effing. scene. It drives me insane, it doesn't sound like a real slap bass (and I'm quite sure that it's a synth-bass sound,) and they switch scenes so frequently that I guarantee I hear that sound more often than any Seinfeld joke. Isn't that a reason that Jerry himself could appreciate?

It got me thinking about other things like this. I sometimes find myself giving a speech when people ask me "Don't you just LOVE ______ (the Pixies)?" Something like "While I have listened do them and personally don't like them, let me take this time to acknowledge that I realize they are a. by all accounts a fantastic band and b. a band that all of the people I like in fact like. Me "not liking" the Pixies does not pass any judgment on the Pixies."

Here is a short "off the top of my head" list of books/movies/music/TV that I recognize as being almost certainly good/great, while I personally do not appreciate the qualities that make them so:
Television (the band, though this could apply more generally)
The Smiths
Tapes n' Tapes
Animal Collective
The Magnetic Fields
GBV
Sonic Youth
Scrubs
The Simpsons
Leo Tolstoy


Books movies music that I DON'T feel this way about (i.e. I secretly think they are actually not good/great, though they are largely perceived as such):
Babel
Sideways (big ups to Leah for helping me come out)
Pynchon
Art Brut
The Fiery Furnaces
Godspeed you Black Emperor
South Park
Blade Runner